How to tell if your dad is gay


When my dad came out to me, it wasn't his being gay that was a shock. It was the fact that I'd spent two decades of my life thinking he was straight. I denote , what was I supposed to think? He was my dad, married to my mom for 25 years. After he revealed the truth (to my mother first, then to me two years later), I went into panic mode: How seal could I really be to my dad when he was keeping a secret that enormous from us? Did I really perceive him -- could I, when he was putting so much effort into hiding who he was?

There had been signs all along, of course -- I achieve that now. I see that a lot of the tension I felt as a kid had to carry out with the classified my dad kept, which my mom unconsciously guarded. In the early 90s, and my dad was obsessed with Madonna and Euro-pop. He stayed in shape running Marathons and flaunted his lean body in a Speedo at our beach dwelling in Sag Harbor. When I got to be a teenager, my peers started to spot . I remember that my childhood BFF thought there was something different and distant about my dad. My eighth grade boyfriend pointed out that my dad wore

Q:

Three years ago, my sisters and I found out my father is gay, but not because he came out and told us. My youngest sister (11 at the time) found some incriminating evidence, and put the pieces together. Since then, there has been a mutual comprehending between my mother and father, and my father and us, that he is gay, but our family will remain intact. We have never sat down together to actually discuss the situation, we all just know it&#;s there, but don&#;t discuss it. It seems to serve for us, but being 25 years old, now living in a alternative city and looking back at the situation, I observe how it may be affecting myself and my sisters.

I have always had some issues with trust, but since finding out my father is gay, they have only gotten worse. At first I thought it was simply finding out that this male figure in my life had a totally different life, but now, I&#;m realizing it may also be about my parents staying in a marriage that is so clearly not working, all the while giving the illusion that nothing is wrong.

My impressions of genuine love, marriage, and truly trusting

Are you a daughter whose dad is gay? Or are you a gay dad? Has this had any negative impact on your father-daughter relationship? If so, the following research findings might be useful to you both in terms of creating a more pleasant, honest relationship.

1. In surveys (Jones, ), slightly less than 6 percent of all American men and women over the age of 18 recognize themselves as LBGT. Nearly 3 percent consider themselves bisexual, though the numbers differ considerably by age. Here’s the breakdown.

bisexual: 3%
gay: %
lesbian: %
transgender: %

By age:
18– 16%
24– 9%
40– 4%
56– 2%
over 1%

Most children under the age of 18 have parents in the 24 to 39 age bracket. This means that only 9 percent of parents are LBGT in contrast to 16 percent of adolescent adult children between the ages of 18 and The likelihood that a father or a mother is transgender is relatively adj, since only percent of all Americans are in this group.

2. If your dad is LBGT, he is half as likely as an LBGT woman to be bisexual.

3. Most children whose dads are gay were born while their biological

Q:

My husband just start out that his parents are divorcing after 38 years of marriage because his father is gay. My husband is supportive of gay rights, but right now he is shocked and incredibly upset. He feels deceived by his father for keeping this covert for so drawn-out and for deserting his mother. Are there any resources out there for this type of situation?

A:

You said your husband has been supportive of gay rights, and that&#;s great. I wish he&#;s not confusing being angry at his dad with being homophobic &#; these are too different issues. Along the way, he will probably be labeled &#;homophobic&#; by judgmental people who don&#;t understand why your husband isn&#;t immediately cheering his dad on. It&#;s not a contradiction to support gay rights, but not be ready to be supportive of a recently-out parent.

Of course your husband feels deceived; he has learned that his parents&#; reality is very unlike from what he was led to believe for his entire life. Parents coming out after decades of marriage is more frequent than most people think. Whether a mom and dad stayed ma